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Storm’s photographic memory clicked in. “The Nazis ‘liberated’ this painting from a French art dealer named Paul Rosenberg because Mr. Rosenberg was Jewish.”
“It was part of their organized looting of art objects,” Storm continued. “The Nazis stole hundreds of thousands of art treasures, mostly from Jewish people, then stored them in salt mines and caves to protect their booty from Allied bombing raids. A lot was recovered after the war, but a lot is still missing.”
“Like this one,” said Beck, gesturing at the giant Picasso painting in the Chinese art gallery’s display window.
“Hey,” I said, “if we turn this stolen Picasso over to that high cultural minister, he’ll become an international hero when he returns the painting to its rightful owner. Maybe if we give him this, he’ll finally give us the Ming vase we need to rescue Mom!”
“Worth a shot,” said Tommy.
But the instant he said it, two gallery employees in white coats stepped into the showroom window and took down the Picasso!
CHAPTER 8
We barged into the gallery.
“May I be of assistance?” said a very polite young woman in a business suit. She was wearing soft white cotton gloves and a big smile.
“That Picasso,” blurted Beck, breathless with rage. “The one in the window.”
“Oh, I am so terribly sorry. It is spoken for. A buyer has already claimed it.”
“It’s stolen art,” said Storm, who’s never been one for sugarcoating anything. “The Nazis looted it from its rightful owner during World War II.”
“And,” said Tommy, “in case you forgot, the Nazis were the bad guys. You ever see Raiders of the Lost Ark?”
“I’m sorry, but the Picasso painting, Cubic Woman Selling Seashells by the Seashore, has—”
“That’s not its name,” said Beck.
The woman smiled some more. “I am afraid you are mistaken, Miss—?”
“We’re the Kidds,” I said. “Maybe you saw our parade this morning?”
She bowed. “I am honored to make your acquaintance, Heroes of the People.”
“Likewise,” said Tommy, wiggling his eyebrows.
“However, as I said, the painting you are interested in was just sold to an anonymous buyer. For seventy million dollars.”
“That Picasso needs to be returned to the heirs of its rightful owners!” Beck said to the gallery staffer. “It’s stolen merchandise.”
That’s when four very burly, very muscular security guards—all of them wearing snug black suits and sunglasses and sporting soul patches—came marching over to scowl at us.
“Leave,” grunted the head scowler, who didn’t sound or look Chinese. In fact, he seemed to have a German accent. “Now.”
“No,” said Beck. “Not until you—”
She didn’t get to finish that thought.
We were unceremoniously hoisted off the floor and hauled out of the art gallery to be tossed into the gutter, where we joined the soggy confetti and popped balloons from our recent parade.
Guess that’s how it goes sometimes.
One minute you’re a hero, the next you’re being thrown out with the trash.
CHAPTER 9
On our walk back to the hotel, we noticed something suspicious. A street vendor was passing out paper menus for a nearby restaurant, but he looked really nervous.
Wearing a bright red apron, the little man was bald up top but had long, scraggly hair hanging off both sides of his dome. His wispy mustache was long and scraggly, too. His barely open eyes were darting back and forth like he was afraid the police might arrest him at any second. He was all kinds of jittery and jumpy.
“Please take one,” he said, thrusting a stack of menus at us. “Crystal Jade Palace. The specials are very special today.”
“Is this Chinese food?” asked Tommy, studying a menu.
“Um, hello?” said Beck. “This is China, Tommy. All the food is Chinese food!”
“Even at McDonald’s?”
“Yep,” said Beck. “Over here, Mickey D’s serves bubble tea.”
“The Happy Family is very good,” said the spooked paper-pusher, tapping a dirty fingernail on the menu.
“What’s a happy family?” asked Tommy.
“Us,” I said.
“Speak for yourself,” said Beck.
“What? You’re not happy?”
“Uh, no, Bick. That art gallery is peddling pilfered art. We need to stop them.”
“Actually,” said Storm, “the Happy Family is a popular Chinese stir-fry dish, combining meats with colorful vegetables, such as broccoli, water chestnuts, baby corn, and—”
“Huh,” said Tommy, cutting off Storm’s recitation. “On the back, there’s a special Kidds’ menu.”
“So?” said Beck. “A lot of restaurants have kids’ menus.”
“Not spelled like this. It looks like our name. K-I-D-D.”
“So,” I said. “It’s just a coincidence. Right?”
I turned to face the wizardly looking paper-pusher.
But he was gone.
“Okay,” I said. “Maybe it’s a clue!”
“No way,” said Beck. “It’s a misprint.”
“No, it’s not.”
And right there, not far from Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City, in the heart of Beijing, China, Beck and I launched into Twin Tirade No. 484.
CHAPTER 10
These angry outbursts are something Beck and I just do.
Constantly.
I guess it’s because we’re twins and so tightly wired together. Every now and then we, basically, explode.
Mom is the one who came up with the snappy title Twin Tirades for our manic meltdowns because: (a) we’re twins and (b) a tirade is a harangue or diatribe (yes, Mom, our homeschool ELA instructor, was always trying to boost our vocabulary skills) that’s supposed to be long and acrimonious.
If I remember correctly, acrimonious means nasty.
But our Twin Tirades are never very long and not necessarily nasty. They’re more like biting into a superspicy chicken wing dipped in sinus-scorching Chinese mustard. Your face turns all red, steam shoots out your ears, and you shout, “hot-hot-hot!” a lot.
Ten seconds later you’re done and hungry for another wing.
“It is not a clue, Bickford! It’s a typo!”
By the way, whenever Beck calls me by my full name, I know she’s ready to tirade.
We ranted for a full ninety seconds.
But then my stomach started grumbling.
“You hungry?” I said.
“Yeah,” said Beck.
“So let’s go check out that Kidds’ menu.”
“Good idea.”
And just like that, Twin Tirade No. 484 was officially over.
The Crystal Jade Palace was on the other side of the street, right next to our hotel. I was hoping today’s special was something besides stir-fried pork and veggies.
I was hoping for a message from Dad!
CHAPTER 11
“Mmm,” said Tommy, sniffing the heavily scented air of the Crystal Jade Palace restaurant. “It smells familiar.”
“What?” said Beck with a laugh.
I was right there with her. “It smells familiar?”
“Actually,” said Storm, “our sense of smell can trigger powerful and vivid memories.”
“Chyah,” said Tommy. “I remember coming here, back when I was a little kid and Storm was, like, two. See that lobster tank? I named the big one Binky. This was Mom and Dad’s favorite restaurant in all of China.”
“Dad really liked a waiter here,” said Tommy. “Guy named Liu Wei.”
“Now you remember all this?” said Beck.
“Sorry,” said Tommy. “I’d forgotten all about this place until I smelled that stir-fried fish sizzling in hoisin sauce. Oh, by the way—stay away from the pig brains dunked in boiling oil. Even Dad thought that dish was too bizarre to eat.”
And so we had our first taste
of authentic Chinese food. Trust me, it’s nothing like the syrupy, gunky, sweet-and-sour stuff you find at the Chinese restaurants in American strip malls. We feasted on Beijing roasted duck, all sorts of dumplings, steamy noodles, spicy Sichuan hot pot, pork meatballs, mashed pea cake, and, for dessert, candied haws on a stick (the red fruit of the prickly hawthorn bush, covered with sugar crystals and speared on a bamboo skewer).
As we were passing around dishes, everybody sampling what everybody else ordered, a frail waiter hobbled up to our table.
His faded plastic name tag read LIU WEI.
It was our father’s friend.
Tommy smiled at Liu Wei and gave us all a silent signal—one that said, Nobody jump up and down and shout “Woo-hoo! It’s Dad’s old friend Liu Wei.”
We needed to play this cool.
Otherwise, Liu Wei could end up worse off than those deep-fried pig brains.
CHAPTER 12
“Um, hello, waiter-type person,” said Tommy, who’s never been very good at improvising dialogue. “What else might you recommend from this fine menu of food items?”
“Wise elders suggest that you move on to the bird’s nest soup and squab.”
“Wise elders?” said Beck, arching an eyebrow. “Any fatherly type people we might know?”
“Perhaps,” said Liu Wei cryptically, which, I’ve learned, is how a lot of spy people say stuff. “This wise teacher is a steady hand to have at the helm whenever you fear your ship is lost.”
Okay. I know spy talk when I hear it. Liu Wei was definitely talking about Dad, the captain of The Lost, who manned its helm up until that night he disappeared in the storm.
“I was right,” I mumbled out loud. “Dad is so totally still alive!”
The others shot me a look. They were right, too. I wasn’t being cool like I was supposed to.
“Sorry.”
Tommy calmly ordered the food that Liu Wei had suggested: bird’s nest soup and squab.
The “waiter” bowed and bustled away.
“Um,” said Tommy, “anybody know what squab is?”
“Pigeon,” said Storm, very matter-of-factly. “A pathetic winged creature. A flying rat. An urban seagull. An ugly—”
“We get it,” said Beck. “You don’t like pigeons.”
“One pooped in my hair in Paris. I’ll never forget its face. Or its satisfied smile as it flew away…”
Yep. That’s the downside of having a photographic memory: There are some pictures you can’t erase even though you wish you could.
We ate our bird’s nest soup and squab.
Okay, we looked at it. None of us were too hungry for anything “birdy” after Storm’s little monologue.
“You think there might be a Dairy Queen around here?” said Tommy.
“Wait,” I said, staring at the soup sitting in a bowl made out of crispy twigs soaked in broth. “This bird’s nest has to be a clue.”
“The squab, too,” added Beck, who, of course, was thinking the same kinds of thoughts I was thinking. It’s a twin thing.
“Maybe Dad is trying to tell us what treasure to hunt for next!” I said.
“Seriously?” said Storm. “What, the lost Imperial Pigeon Eggs of Russian Tsar Alexander the Third? I don’t remember seeing those on Dad’s list.”
“Dudes!” said Tommy. “I’ve got it. Maybe he already found the eggs. In a bird’s nest.”
“What?” said Beck.
“The Bird’s Nest is what everybody called the Beijing National Stadium during the 2008 Olympic Games.”
“So?” said Beck.
Tommy grinned. “So maybe Dad found those jewel-encrusted Russian pigeon eggs Storm was talking about and hid them at the stadium. Maybe he buried them in the end zone!”
“This is China, Tommy,” said Beck. “They don’t play American football.”
“So?”
“So they don’t have end zones.”
“Okay. Maybe he stashed the jewel-encrusted pigeon eggs in the locker room!”
That’s when (fortunately) Liu Wei came back to our table.
“Do not visit the Bird’s Nest,” he said very softly, his eyes flitting back and forth as he checked out the other diners.
“Where should we go?” I whispered.
Liu Wei smiled like a wise shīfu, which is Chinese for respected teacher.
“Let fortune be your guide,” he said.
With that, he presented us with a tiny lacquer tray. Four cellophane-wrapped fortune cookies were sitting on it.
“Um, people in China don’t really do the whole fortune cookie thing,” said Storm. “They think finding little slips of crinkled paper stuck inside food is gross. Means the chef was sort of sloppy.”
“This is a special treat for our distinguished American visitors,” said Liu Wei with a grin. “Very special.”
CHAPTER 13
“You guys?” said Tommy as the rest of us grabbed our fortune cookies off the tray. “We need to leave.”
I wanted to tear the wrapper off my fortune cookie. I was thinking Dad had stuffed a top secret message inside it. “Wait, Tommy. We should—”
“Now,” he said firmly.
All those years manning the spyglass up on the poop deck of The Lost had given Tommy albatross eyes. He can spot trouble coming from ten nautical miles away.
I looked around and noticed several diners at nearby tables were staring at us. One was working his phone, trying to cover up his frantic conversation with his hand.
Liu Wei bowed quickly and dashed to the kitchen.
The four of us scooped up our shrink-wrapped cookies and stuffed them into our pockets.
Tommy dropped a stack of yuan bills on the table, more than enough to cover the cost of our meal.
Dozens of eyes following us, we strolled casually toward the front of the restaurant. Tommy started whistling. As he went to push the door, someone out on the sidewalk yanked it open—tearing the handle out of Tommy’s hand.
The four soul-patched goons from the art gallery.
“Thieves!” shouted Beck.
“Dàozéi!” cried Storm. “Dàozéi!”
(I figure that’s how you hollered “thieves!” in Chinese.)
As the goons closed in, Tommy yelled, “Run!”
CHAPTER 14
“Kitchen!” barked Tommy.
The four of us spun around and tore through the tight maze of tables. Fortunately, our pursuers were big and beefy and had trouble negotiating the same narrow lanes. They bumped into tables, tipped over steaming trays of squid, and took out the lobster tank.
Fortune cookies secure in our pockets, we raced through a pair of swinging doors to the kitchen. The air was thick with steam coming up from all the boiling dumplings. Chefs were stirring flaming woks.
“Back door!” shouted Tommy.
We dove through it.
And found ourselves in an alley.
“We’re behind our hotel,” said Storm.
We heard the kitchen doors swing open. I whirled around.
The four warriors of the art gallery were hot on our trail. One had a lobster clamped to his left shoe.
“Up to our room!” shouted Tommy.
We ran up the alley to the street, rounded the bend, and headed for the hotel entrance. Spinning through the revolving doors, we flew across the lobby.
A bell dinged.
“Elevators!” shouted Tommy, who really is a good captain, even without a ship.
The four of us hopped in, just as the doors slid shut—right in the four gallery goons’ faces.
Getting off on the seventeenth floor, we hurried down the corridor to our room. Two very beefy men in black suits were standing in the hallway, their arms crossed genie-style over their chests.
They hadn’t been there when we left the hotel in the morning.
Had our pursuers beaten us up to the seventeenth floor?
No. These guys didn’t have soul patches. They also looked Chinese.
“Are you the
Kidds?” asked one of the gigantic men, lowering his sunglasses.
“That’s right,” said Tommy, while the rest of us caught our breath.
“Welcome, honored guests. We have been assigned to be of service during the remainder of your heroic stay in our beloved homeland.”
The elevator bell dinged again.
“Swell,” said Storm, jabbing a thumb over her shoulder. “Start with tossing out the trash.”
CHAPTER 15
Tommy swiped his hotel card key.
The lock clicked open.
The four of us practically leaped into our room and slammed the door shut.
Out in the hallway, we could hear our goons telling the art gallery’s goons to go away. I think our goons had better weapons. After grumbling something like, “Tell zee Kinder to stay away from our boss’s loot or there will be ernsthafte Konsequenzen,” the stump-necked art gallery musclemen stomped away.
We were safe.
“So what’s an ernsthafte Konsequenzen?” asked Tommy.
“Some kind of pastry?” I suggested.
“No,” said Storm. “‘Serious consequences.’”
Tommy laughed. “Aren’t they always?”
It was time to open our fortune cookies, which were now just crumbs inside their wrappers.
We sat down in the hotel suite’s posh living room (the People’s Republic of China was treating us like royalty, even though they don’t really have royalty in Communist countries) and tore them open.
Beck and I got the exact same fortune (guess it’s another twin thing).
“It’s not very poetic,” said Beck.
“What’s it say?” asked Tommy.

Miracle at Augusta
The Store
The Midnight Club
The Witnesses
The 9th Judgment
Against Medical Advice
The Quickie
Little Black Dress
Private Oz
Homeroom Diaries
Gone
Lifeguard
Kill Me if You Can
Bullseye
Confessions of a Murder Suspect
Black Friday
Manhunt
Filthy Rich
Step on a Crack
Private
Private India
Game Over
Private Sydney
The Murder House
Mistress
I, Michael Bennett
The Gift
The Postcard Killers
The Shut-In
The House Husband
The Lost
I, Alex Cross
Going Bush
16th Seduction
The Jester
Along Came a Spider
The Lake House
Four Blind Mice
Tick Tock
Private L.A.
Middle School, the Worst Years of My Life
Cross Country
The Final Warning
Word of Mouse
Come and Get Us
Sail
I Funny TV: A Middle School Story
Private London
Save Rafe!
Swimsuit
Sam's Letters to Jennifer
3rd Degree
Double Cross
Judge & Jury
Kiss the Girls
Second Honeymoon
Guilty Wives
1st to Die
NYPD Red 4
Truth or Die
Private Vegas
The 5th Horseman
7th Heaven
I Even Funnier
Cross My Heart
Let’s Play Make-Believe
Violets Are Blue
Zoo
Home Sweet Murder
The Private School Murders
Alex Cross, Run
Hunted: BookShots
The Fire
Chase
14th Deadly Sin
Bloody Valentine
The 17th Suspect
The 8th Confession
4th of July
The Angel Experiment
Crazy House
School's Out - Forever
Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas
Cross Justice
Maximum Ride Forever
The Thomas Berryman Number
Honeymoon
The Medical Examiner
Killer Chef
Private Princess
Private Games
Burn
10th Anniversary
I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story
Taking the Titanic
The Lawyer Lifeguard
The 6th Target
Cross the Line
Alert
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
1st Case
Unlucky 13
Haunted
Cross
Lost
11th Hour
Bookshots Thriller Omnibus
Target: Alex Cross
Hope to Die
The Noise
Worst Case
Dog's Best Friend
Nevermore: The Final Maximum Ride Adventure
I Funny: A Middle School Story
NYPD Red
Till Murder Do Us Part
Black & Blue
Fang
Liar Liar
The Inn
Sundays at Tiffany's
Middle School: Escape to Australia
Cat and Mouse
Instinct
The Black Book
London Bridges
Toys
The Last Days of John Lennon
Roses Are Red
Witch & Wizard
The Dolls
The Christmas Wedding
The River Murders
The 18th Abduction
The 19th Christmas
Middle School: How I Got Lost in London
Just My Rotten Luck
Red Alert
Walk in My Combat Boots
Three Women Disappear
21st Birthday
All-American Adventure
Becoming Muhammad Ali
The Murder of an Angel
The 13-Minute Murder
Rebels With a Cause
The Trial
Run for Your Life
The House Next Door
NYPD Red 2
Ali Cross
The Big Bad Wolf
Middle School: My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar
Private Paris
Miracle on the 17th Green
The People vs. Alex Cross
The Beach House
Cross Kill
Dog Diaries
The President's Daughter
Happy Howlidays
Detective Cross
The Paris Mysteries
Watch the Skies
113 Minutes
Alex Cross's Trial
NYPD Red 3
Hush Hush
Now You See Her
Merry Christmas, Alex Cross
2nd Chance
Private Royals
Two From the Heart
Max
I, Funny
Blindside (Michael Bennett)
Sophia, Princess Among Beasts
Armageddon
Don't Blink
NYPD Red 6
The First Lady
Texas Outlaw
Hush
Beach Road
Private Berlin
The Family Lawyer
Jack & Jill
The Midwife Murders
Middle School: Rafe's Aussie Adventure
The Murder of King Tut: The Plot to Kill the Child King
First Love
The Dangerous Days of Daniel X
Hawk
Private Delhi
The 20th Victim
The Shadow
Katt vs. Dogg
The Palm Beach Murders
2 Sisters Detective Agency
Humans, Bow Down
You've Been Warned
Cradle and All
20th Victim: (Women’s Murder Club 20) (Women's Murder Club)
Season of the Machete
Woman of God
Mary, Mary
Blindside
Invisible
The Chef
Revenge
See How They Run
Pop Goes the Weasel
15th Affair
Middle School: Get Me Out of Here!
Middle School: How I Survived Bullies, Broccoli, and Snake Hill
From Hero to Zero - Chris Tebbetts
G'day, America
Max Einstein Saves the Future
The Cornwalls Are Gone
Private Moscow
Two Schools Out - Forever
Hollywood 101
Deadly Cargo: BookShots
21st Birthday (Women's Murder Club)
The Sky Is Falling
Cajun Justice
Bennett 06 - Gone
The House of Kennedy
Waterwings
Murder is Forever, Volume 2
Maximum Ride 02
Treasure Hunters--The Plunder Down Under
Private Royals: BookShots (A Private Thriller)
After the End
Private India: (Private 8)
Escape to Australia
WMC - First to Die
Boys Will Be Boys
The Red Book
11th hour wmc-11
Hidden
You've Been Warned--Again
Unsolved
Pottymouth and Stoopid
Hope to Die: (Alex Cross 22)
The Moores Are Missing
Black & Blue: BookShots (Detective Harriet Blue Series)
Airport - Code Red: BookShots
Kill or Be Killed
School's Out--Forever
When the Wind Blows
Heist: BookShots
Murder of Innocence (Murder Is Forever)
Red Alert_An NYPD Red Mystery
Malicious
Scott Free
The Summer House
French Kiss
Treasure Hunters
Murder Is Forever, Volume 1
Secret of the Forbidden City
Cross the Line: (Alex Cross 24)
Witch & Wizard: The Fire
Women's Murder Club [06] The 6th Target
Cross My Heart ac-21
Alex Cross’s Trial ак-15
Alex Cross 03 - Jack & Jill
Liar Liar: (Harriet Blue 3) (Detective Harriet Blue Series)
Cross Country ак-14
Honeymoon h-1
Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment
The Big Bad Wolf ак-9
Dead Heat: BookShots (Book Shots)
Kill and Tell
Avalanche
Robot Revolution
Public School Superhero
12th of Never
Max: A Maximum Ride Novel
All-American Murder
Murder Games
Robots Go Wild!
My Life Is a Joke
Private: Gold
Demons and Druids
Jacky Ha-Ha
Postcard killers
Princess: A Private Novel
Kill Alex Cross ac-18
12th of Never wmc-12
The Murder of King Tut
I Totally Funniest
Cross Fire ак-17
Count to Ten
Women's Murder Club [10] 10th Anniversary
Women's Murder Club [01] 1st to Die
I, Michael Bennett mb-5
Nooners
Women's Murder Club [08] The 8th Confession
Private jm-1
Treasure Hunters: Danger Down the Nile
Worst Case mb-3
Don’t Blink
The Games
The Medical Examiner: A Women's Murder Club Story
Black Market
Gone mb-6
Women's Murder Club [02] 2nd Chance
French Twist
Kenny Wright
Manhunt: A Michael Bennett Story
Cross Kill: An Alex Cross Story
Confessions of a Murder Suspect td-1
Second Honeymoon h-2
Chase_A BookShot_A Michael Bennett Story
Confessions: The Paris Mysteries
Women's Murder Club [09] The 9th Judgment
Absolute Zero
Nevermore: The Final Maximum Ride Adventure mr-8
Angel: A Maximum Ride Novel mr-7
Juror #3
Million-Dollar Mess Down Under
The Verdict: BookShots (A Jon Roscoe Thriller)
The President Is Missing: A Novel
Women's Murder Club [04] 4th of July
The Hostage: BookShots (Hotel Series)
$10,000,000 Marriage Proposal
Diary of a Succubus
Unbelievably Boring Bart
Angel: A Maximum Ride Novel
Stingrays
Confessions: The Private School Murders
Stealing Gulfstreams
Women's Murder Club [05] The 5th Horseman
Zoo 2
Jack Morgan 02 - Private London
Treasure Hunters--Quest for the City of Gold
The Christmas Mystery
Murder in Paradise
Kidnapped: BookShots (A Jon Roscoe Thriller)
Triple Homicide_Thrillers
16th Seduction: (Women’s Murder Club 16) (Women's Murder Club)
14th Deadly Sin: (Women’s Murder Club 14)
Texas Ranger
Witch & Wizard 04 - The Kiss
Women's Murder Club [03] 3rd Degree
Break Point: BookShots
Alex Cross 04 - Cat & Mouse
Maximum Ride
Fifty Fifty: (Harriet Blue 2) (Detective Harriet Blue Series)
Alex Cross 02 - Kiss the Girls
The President Is Missing
Hunted
House of Robots
Dangerous Days of Daniel X
Tick Tock mb-4
10th Anniversary wmc-10
The Exile
Private Games-Jack Morgan 4 jm-4
Burn: (Michael Bennett 7)
Laugh Out Loud
The People vs. Alex Cross: (Alex Cross 25)
Peril at the Top of the World
I Funny TV
Merry Christmas, Alex Cross ac-19
#1 Suspect jm-3
Fang: A Maximum Ride Novel
Women's Murder Club [07] 7th Heaven
The End