- Home
- James Patterson
Pop Goes the Weasel
Pop Goes the Weasel Read online
Pop Goes the Weasel
James Patterson
Little, Brown and Company
New York Boston London
Begin Reading
A Preview of Roses Are Red
A Preview of Kill Alex Cross
About the Author
Books by James Patterson
Table of Contents
Copyright Page
This is for Suzie and Jack,
and for the millions of Alex Cross readers
who so frequently ask,
Can’t you write faster?
Prologue
I
GEOFFREY SHAFER, dashingly outfitted in a single-breasted blue blazer, white shirt, striped tie, and narrow gray trousers from H. Huntsman & Sons, walked out of his town house at seven-thirty in the morning and climbed into a black Jaguar XJ12.
He backed the Jag slowly out of the driveway, then stepped on the accelerator. The sleek sports car rocketed up to fifty before it reached the stop sign at Connecticut Avenue, in the posh Kalorama section of Washington, D.C.
When Shafer reached the busy intersection, he didn’t stop. He floored the accelerator, picking up more speed.
He was doing sixty-five and ached to crash the Jag into the stately fieldstone wall bordering the avenue. He aimed the Jag closer to the wall. He could see the head-on collision, visualize it, feel it all over.
At the last possible second, he tried to avoid the deadly crash. He spun the wheel hard to the left. The sports car fish-tailed all the way across the avenue, tires screeching and burning, the smell of rubber thick in the air.
The Jag skidded to a stop, headed the wrong way on the street, the windshield issuing its glossy black stare at a barrage of early oncoming traffic.
Shafer stepped on the accelerator again and headed forward against the oncoming traffic. Every car and truck began to honk loud, sustained blasts.
Shafer didn’t even try to catch his breath or bearings. He sped along the avenue, gaining speed. He zoomed across Rock Creek Bridge and made a left, then another left onto Rock Creek Parkway.
A tiny scream of pain escaped from his lips. It was involuntary, coming swiftly and unexpectedly. A moment of fear, weakness.
He floored the gas pedal again, and the engine roared. He was doing seventy, then pressing to eighty. He zigged and zagged around slower-moving sedans, sport-utility vehicles, a soot-covered A&P delivery truck.
Only a few honked now. Other drivers on the parkway were terrified, scared out of their minds.
He exited the Rock Creek Parkway at fifty miles an hour, then he gunned it again.
P Street was even more crowded at that hour than the parkway had been. Washington was just waking up and setting off to work. He could still see that inviting stone wall on Connecticut. He shouldn’t have stopped. He began searching for another rock-solid object, looking for something to hit very hard.
He was doing eighty miles an hour as he approached Dupont Circle. He shot forward like a ground rocket. Two lines of traffic were backed up at a red light. No way out of this one, he thought. Nowhere to go left or right.
He didn’t want to rear-end a dozen cars! That was no way to end this—end his life—by smashing into a commonplace Chevy Caprice, a Honda Accord, a delivery truck.
He swerved violently to the left and veered into the lanes of traffic coming east, coming right at him. He could see the panicked, disbelieving faces behind the dusty, grime-smeared windshields. The horns started to blast, a high-pitched symphony of fear.
He ran the next light and just barely squeezed between an oncoming Jeep and a concrete-mixer truck.
He sped down M Street, then onto Pennsylvania Avenue, and headed toward Washington Circle. The George Washington University Medical Center was up ahead—a perfect ending?
The Metro patrol car appeared out of nowhere, its siren-bullhorn screaming in protest, its rotating beacon glittering, signaling for him to pull over. Shafer slowed down and pulled to the curb.
The cop hurried to Shafer’s car, his hand on his holster. He looked frightened and unsure.
“Get out of the car, sir,” the cop said in a commanding voice. “Get out of the car right now.”
Shafer suddenly felt calm and relaxed. There was no tension left in his body.
“All right. All right. I’m getting out. No problem.” “You know how fast you were going?” the cop asked in an agitated voice, his face flushed a bright red. Shafer noticed that the cop’s hand was still on his gun.
Shafer pursed his lips, thought about his answer. “Well—I’d say about thirty, Officer,” he finally said. “Maybe a little over the speed limit.”
Then he took out an I.D. card and handed it over. “But you can’t do anything about it. I’m with the British Embassy. I have diplomatic immunity.”
II
THAT NIGHT, as he was driving home from work, Geoffrey Shafer started to feel that he was losing control again. He was beginning to frighten himself. His whole life had begun to revolve around a fantasy game he played called the Four Horsemen. In the game, he was the player called Death. The game was everything to him, the only part of his life with real meaning.
He sped across town from the British Embassy, all the way to the Petworth district of Northwest. He knew he shouldn’t be there, a white man in a spiffy Jaguar. He couldn’t help himself, though, any more than he could that morning.
He stopped the car just before he got to Petworth. Shafer took out his laptop and typed a message to the other players, the Horsemen.
FRIENDS,
DEATH IS ON THE LOOSE IN WASHINGTON.
THE GAME IS ON.
He started the Jag again and rode a few more blocks to Petworth. The usual outrageously provocative hookers were already parading up and down Varnum and Webster streets. A song called “Nice and Slow” was playing from a vibrating blue BMW Ronnie McCall’s sweet voice blended into the early evening.
The girls waved to him and showed their large, flat, pert, or flabby breasts. Several wore colorful bustiers with matching hot pants and shiny silver or red platform shoes with pointy heels.
He slowed to a stop beside a small black girl who looked to be around sixteen and had an unusually pretty face. Her legs were long and slender for such a petite body. She wore too much makeup for his taste. Still, she was hard to resist, so why should he?
“Nice car. Jaguar. I like it a lot,” she cooed, then smiled and made a sexy little o with her lipsticked mouth. “You’re cute, too, mistah.”
He smiled back at her. “Jump in, then. Let’s go for a test ride. See if it’s true love or just infatuation.” He glanced around the street quickly. None of the other girls were working this corner.
“A hundred for full-service, sweetie?” she asked as she wiggled her tight little butt inside the Jag. Her perfume smelled like eau de bubble gum, and she seemed to have bathed in it.
“As I said, get into the car. A hundred dollars is petty cash for me.”
He knew he shouldn’t be picking her up in the Jaguar, but he took her for a joy ride anyway. He couldn’t help himself now.
He brought the girl to a small, wooded park in a part of Washington called Shaw. He parked in a thicket of fir trees that hid the car from sight. He looked at the prostitute, and she was even smaller and younger than he had thought.
“How old are you?” he asked.
“How old you want me to be?” she said, and smiled. “Sweetie, I need the money first. You know how it works.”
“Yes. But do you?” he asked.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a switchblade knife. He had it at her throat in an instant.
“Don’t hurt me,” she whispered. “Just be cool.”
“Get out of the car. S
lowly. Don’t you dare scream. You be cool.”
Shafer got out with her, staying close, the knife still pressed to the hollow of her throat.
“It’s all just a game, darling,” he explained. “My name is Death. You’re a very lucky girl. I’m the best player of all.”
As if to prove it, he stabbed her for the first time.
Book One
THE JANE DOE MURDERS
Chapter 1
THINGS WERE GOING PRETTY WELL that day. I was driving a bright-orange school bus through Southeast on a blistering-hot morning in late July, and I was whistling a little Al Green as I drove. I was in the process of picking up sixteen boys from their houses and also two foster homes. Door-to-door bus service. Hard to beat.
Just one week earlier I had returned from Boston and the Mr. Smith murder case. Mr. Smith and a deranged killer named Gary Soneji had both been involved in that one. I needed a rest, and I’d taken the morning off to do something I’d been looking forward to for a change.
My partner, John Sampson, and a twelve-year-old named Errol Mignault sat behind me on the bus. John was wearing Wayfarer shades, black jeans, and a black T-shirt that read ALLIANCE OF CONCERNED MEN. SEND DONATIONS TODAY. He is six-nine, a very solid two hundred fifty pounds. We’ve been friends since we were ten, when I first moved to D.C.
He, Errol, and I were talking about the boxer Sugar Ray Robinson, almost shouting over the bus’s blustery, occasionally misfiring engine. Sampson had his huge arm lightly draped over Errol’s shoulders. Proper physical contact is encouraged when dealing with these boys.
Finally, we picked up the last little guy on our list, an eight-year-old who lived in Benning Terrace, a tough project known to some of us as Simple City.
As we left the project, an ugly smear of graffiti told visitors everything they needed to know about the neighborhood. It read YOU ARE NOW LEAVING THE WAR ZONE, AND YOU LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT.
We were taking the boys out to Lorton Prison in Virginia. They would be visiting their fathers for the afternoon. They were all young, between eight and thirteen. The Alliance transports forty to fifty kids each week to see their fathers and mothers in different prisons. The goal is a lofty one: to bring the crime rate in Washington down by a third.
I’d been out to the prison more times than I cared to remember. I knew the warden at Lorton pretty well. A few years back I’d spent a lifetime there, interviewing Gary Soneji.
Warden Marion Campbell had set up a large room on Level One where the boys met with their fathers. It was a powerful scene, even more emotional than I’d expected. The Alliance spends time training the fathers who want to participate in the program. There are four steps: how to show love; accept fault and responsibility; attain parent-and-child harmony; discover new beginnings.
Ironically, the boys were all trying to look and act tougher than they actually were. I heard one boy say, “You weren’t in my life before, why should I listen to you now?” But the fathers were trying to show a softer side.
Sampson and I hadn’t made the run to Lorton before. It was our first time, but I was already sure I’d do it again. There was so much raw emotion and hope in the room, so much potential for something good and decent. Even if some of it would never be realized, it showed that an effort was being made, and something positive could come from it.
What struck me most was the bond that still existed between some of the fathers and their young sons. I thought about my own boy, Damon, and how lucky we were. The thing about most of the prisoners in Lorton was that they knew what they had done was wrong; they just didn’t know how to stop doing it.
For most of the hour and a half, I just walked around and listened. I was occasionally needed as a psychologist, and I did the best I could on short notice. At one little group, I heard a father say, “Please tell your mother I love her and I miss her like crazy.” Then both the prisoner and his son broke into tears and hugged each other fiercely.
Sampson came up to me after we’d been in the prison for an hour or so. He was grinning broadly. His smile, when it comes, is a killer. “Man, I love this. Do-gooder shit is the best.”
“Yeah, I’m hooked myself. I’ll drive the big orange bus again.”
“Think it’ll help? Fathers and sons meeting like this?” he asked me.
I looked around the room. “I think today, right now, this is a success for these men and their sons. That’s good enough.”
Sampson nodded. “The old one-day-at-a-time approach. Works for me, too. I am flying, Alex.”
So was I, so was I. I’m a sucker for this kind of stuff.
As I drove the young boys home that afternoon, I could see by their faces that they’d had positive experiences with their fathers. The boys weren’t nearly as noisy and rambunctious on the way back to D.C. They weren’t trying to be so tough. They were just acting like kids.
Almost every one of the boys thanked Sampson and me as he got off the big orange bus. It wasn’t necessary. It sure was a lot better than chasing after homicidal maniacs.
The last boy we dropped off was the eight-year-old from Benning Terrace. He hugged both John and me, and then he started to cry. “I miss my dad,” he said before running home.
Chapter 2
THAT NIGHT, Sampson and I were on duty in Southeast. We’re senior homicide detectives, and I’m also liaison between the FBI and the D.C. police. We got a call at about half past midnight telling us to go to the area of Washington called Shaw. There’d been a bad homicide.
A lone Metro squad car was at the murder scene, and the neighborhood psychos had turned out in pretty fair numbers.
It looked like a bizarre block party in the middle of hell. Fires were blazing nearby, throwing off sparks in two trash barrels, which made no sense, given the sweltering heat of the night.
The victim was a young woman, probably between fourteen and her late teens, according to the radio report.
She wasn’t hard to find. Her nude, mutilated body had been discarded in a clump of briar bushes in a small park less than ten yards off a paved pathway.
As Sampson and I approached the body, a boy shouted at us from the other side of the crime tape: “Yo, yo, she just some street whore!”
I stopped and looked at him. He reminded me of the boys we’d just transported to Lorton Prison. “Dime-a-dozen bitch. Ain’t worth your time, or mine, Dee-fectives,” he went on with his disturbing rap.
I walked up to the young wisecracker. “How do you know that? You seen her around?”
The boy backed off. But then he grinned, showing off a gold star on one of his front teeth. “She ain’t got no clothes on, an’ she layin’ on her back. Somebody stick her good. Sure sound like a whore to me.”
Sampson eyed the youth, who looked to be around fourteen but might have been even younger. “You know who she is?”
“Hell no!” The boy pretended to be insulted. “Don’t know no whores, man.”
The boy finally swaggered off, looking back at us once or twice and shaking his head. Sampson and I walked on and joined two uniformed cops standing by the body. They were obviously waiting for reinforcements. Apparently, we were it.
“You call Emergency Services?” I asked the uniforms.
“Thirty-five minutes ago and counting,” said the older-looking of the two. He was probably in his late twenties, sporting an attempted mustache and trying to look as if he were experienced at scenes like this one.
“That figures.” I shook my head. “You find any I.D. anywhere around here?”
“No I.D. We looked around in the bushes. Nothing but the body,” said the younger one. “And the body’s seen better days.” He was perspiring badly and looked a little sick.
I put on latex gloves and bent down over the corpse. She did appear to be in her mid- to late teens. The girl’s throat had been slit from ear to ear. Her face was badly slashed. So were the soles of her feet, which seemed odd. She’d been stabbed a dozen or more times in her chest and stomach. I pushed open he
r legs.
I saw something that made me sick. A metal handle was barely visible between her legs. I was almost sure it was a knife and that it had been driven all the way into her vagina.
Sampson crouched and looked at me. “What are you thinking, Alex? Another one?”
I shook my head, shrugged my shoulders. “Maybe, but she’s an addict, John. Tracks on her arms and legs. Probably behind her knees, under her arms. Our boy doesn’t usually go after addicts. He practices safe sex. The murder’s brutal, though. That fits the style. You see the metal handle?”
Sampson nodded. He didn’t miss much. “Clothes,” he said. “Where the hell did they go to? We need to find the clothes.”
“Somebody in the neighborhood probably stripped them off her already,” said the young uniform. There was a lot of disturbance around the body. Several footprints in the dirt. “That’s how it goes around here. Nobody seems to care.”
“We’re here,” I said to him. “We care. We’re here for all the Jane Does.”
Chapter 3
GEOFFREY SHAFER was so happy he almost couldn’t hide it from his family. He had to keep from laughing out loud as he kissed his wife, Lucy, on the cheek. He caught a whiff of her Chanel No. 5 perfume, then tasted the brittle dryness of her lips as he kissed her again.
They were standing around like statues in the elegant galley hall of the large Georgian house in Kalorama. The children had been summoned to say good-bye to him.
His wife, the former Lucy Rhys-Cousins, was ash-blond, her sparkling green eyes even brighter than the Bulgari and Spark jewelry that she always wore. Slender, still a beauty of sorts at thirty-seven, Lucy had attended Newnham College at Cambridge for two years before they were married. She read useless poetry and literary novels, and spent most of her free time at equally pointless lunches, shopping with her expatriate girlfriends, going to polo matches, or sailing. Occasionally, Shafer sailed with her. He’d been a very good sailor once upon a time.

Miracle at Augusta
The Store
The Midnight Club
The Witnesses
The 9th Judgment
Against Medical Advice
The Quickie
Little Black Dress
Private Oz
Homeroom Diaries
Gone
Lifeguard
Kill Me if You Can
Bullseye
Confessions of a Murder Suspect
Black Friday
Manhunt
Filthy Rich
Step on a Crack
Private
Private India
Game Over
Private Sydney
The Murder House
Mistress
I, Michael Bennett
The Gift
The Postcard Killers
The Shut-In
The House Husband
The Lost
I, Alex Cross
Going Bush
16th Seduction
The Jester
Along Came a Spider
The Lake House
Four Blind Mice
Tick Tock
Private L.A.
Middle School, the Worst Years of My Life
Cross Country
The Final Warning
Word of Mouse
Come and Get Us
Sail
I Funny TV: A Middle School Story
Private London
Save Rafe!
Swimsuit
Sam's Letters to Jennifer
3rd Degree
Double Cross
Judge & Jury
Kiss the Girls
Second Honeymoon
Guilty Wives
1st to Die
NYPD Red 4
Truth or Die
Private Vegas
The 5th Horseman
7th Heaven
I Even Funnier
Cross My Heart
Let’s Play Make-Believe
Violets Are Blue
Zoo
Home Sweet Murder
The Private School Murders
Alex Cross, Run
Hunted: BookShots
The Fire
Chase
14th Deadly Sin
Bloody Valentine
The 17th Suspect
The 8th Confession
4th of July
The Angel Experiment
Crazy House
School's Out - Forever
Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas
Cross Justice
Maximum Ride Forever
The Thomas Berryman Number
Honeymoon
The Medical Examiner
Killer Chef
Private Princess
Private Games
Burn
10th Anniversary
I Totally Funniest: A Middle School Story
Taking the Titanic
The Lawyer Lifeguard
The 6th Target
Cross the Line
Alert
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
1st Case
Unlucky 13
Haunted
Cross
Lost
11th Hour
Bookshots Thriller Omnibus
Target: Alex Cross
Hope to Die
The Noise
Worst Case
Dog's Best Friend
Nevermore: The Final Maximum Ride Adventure
I Funny: A Middle School Story
NYPD Red
Till Murder Do Us Part
Black & Blue
Fang
Liar Liar
The Inn
Sundays at Tiffany's
Middle School: Escape to Australia
Cat and Mouse
Instinct
The Black Book
London Bridges
Toys
The Last Days of John Lennon
Roses Are Red
Witch & Wizard
The Dolls
The Christmas Wedding
The River Murders
The 18th Abduction
The 19th Christmas
Middle School: How I Got Lost in London
Just My Rotten Luck
Red Alert
Walk in My Combat Boots
Three Women Disappear
21st Birthday
All-American Adventure
Becoming Muhammad Ali
The Murder of an Angel
The 13-Minute Murder
Rebels With a Cause
The Trial
Run for Your Life
The House Next Door
NYPD Red 2
Ali Cross
The Big Bad Wolf
Middle School: My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar
Private Paris
Miracle on the 17th Green
The People vs. Alex Cross
The Beach House
Cross Kill
Dog Diaries
The President's Daughter
Happy Howlidays
Detective Cross
The Paris Mysteries
Watch the Skies
113 Minutes
Alex Cross's Trial
NYPD Red 3
Hush Hush
Now You See Her
Merry Christmas, Alex Cross
2nd Chance
Private Royals
Two From the Heart
Max
I, Funny
Blindside (Michael Bennett)
Sophia, Princess Among Beasts
Armageddon
Don't Blink
NYPD Red 6
The First Lady
Texas Outlaw
Hush
Beach Road
Private Berlin
The Family Lawyer
Jack & Jill
The Midwife Murders
Middle School: Rafe's Aussie Adventure
The Murder of King Tut: The Plot to Kill the Child King
First Love
The Dangerous Days of Daniel X
Hawk
Private Delhi
The 20th Victim
The Shadow
Katt vs. Dogg
The Palm Beach Murders
2 Sisters Detective Agency
Humans, Bow Down
You've Been Warned
Cradle and All
20th Victim: (Women’s Murder Club 20) (Women's Murder Club)
Season of the Machete
Woman of God
Mary, Mary
Blindside
Invisible
The Chef
Revenge
See How They Run
Pop Goes the Weasel
15th Affair
Middle School: Get Me Out of Here!
Middle School: How I Survived Bullies, Broccoli, and Snake Hill
From Hero to Zero - Chris Tebbetts
G'day, America
Max Einstein Saves the Future
The Cornwalls Are Gone
Private Moscow
Two Schools Out - Forever
Hollywood 101
Deadly Cargo: BookShots
21st Birthday (Women's Murder Club)
The Sky Is Falling
Cajun Justice
Bennett 06 - Gone
The House of Kennedy
Waterwings
Murder is Forever, Volume 2
Maximum Ride 02
Treasure Hunters--The Plunder Down Under
Private Royals: BookShots (A Private Thriller)
After the End
Private India: (Private 8)
Escape to Australia
WMC - First to Die
Boys Will Be Boys
The Red Book
11th hour wmc-11
Hidden
You've Been Warned--Again
Unsolved
Pottymouth and Stoopid
Hope to Die: (Alex Cross 22)
The Moores Are Missing
Black & Blue: BookShots (Detective Harriet Blue Series)
Airport - Code Red: BookShots
Kill or Be Killed
School's Out--Forever
When the Wind Blows
Heist: BookShots
Murder of Innocence (Murder Is Forever)
Red Alert_An NYPD Red Mystery
Malicious
Scott Free
The Summer House
French Kiss
Treasure Hunters
Murder Is Forever, Volume 1
Secret of the Forbidden City
Cross the Line: (Alex Cross 24)
Witch & Wizard: The Fire
Women's Murder Club [06] The 6th Target
Cross My Heart ac-21
Alex Cross’s Trial ак-15
Alex Cross 03 - Jack & Jill
Liar Liar: (Harriet Blue 3) (Detective Harriet Blue Series)
Cross Country ак-14
Honeymoon h-1
Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment
The Big Bad Wolf ак-9
Dead Heat: BookShots (Book Shots)
Kill and Tell
Avalanche
Robot Revolution
Public School Superhero
12th of Never
Max: A Maximum Ride Novel
All-American Murder
Murder Games
Robots Go Wild!
My Life Is a Joke
Private: Gold
Demons and Druids
Jacky Ha-Ha
Postcard killers
Princess: A Private Novel
Kill Alex Cross ac-18
12th of Never wmc-12
The Murder of King Tut
I Totally Funniest
Cross Fire ак-17
Count to Ten
Women's Murder Club [10] 10th Anniversary
Women's Murder Club [01] 1st to Die
I, Michael Bennett mb-5
Nooners
Women's Murder Club [08] The 8th Confession
Private jm-1
Treasure Hunters: Danger Down the Nile
Worst Case mb-3
Don’t Blink
The Games
The Medical Examiner: A Women's Murder Club Story
Black Market
Gone mb-6
Women's Murder Club [02] 2nd Chance
French Twist
Kenny Wright
Manhunt: A Michael Bennett Story
Cross Kill: An Alex Cross Story
Confessions of a Murder Suspect td-1
Second Honeymoon h-2
Chase_A BookShot_A Michael Bennett Story
Confessions: The Paris Mysteries
Women's Murder Club [09] The 9th Judgment
Absolute Zero
Nevermore: The Final Maximum Ride Adventure mr-8
Angel: A Maximum Ride Novel mr-7
Juror #3
Million-Dollar Mess Down Under
The Verdict: BookShots (A Jon Roscoe Thriller)
The President Is Missing: A Novel
Women's Murder Club [04] 4th of July
The Hostage: BookShots (Hotel Series)
$10,000,000 Marriage Proposal
Diary of a Succubus
Unbelievably Boring Bart
Angel: A Maximum Ride Novel
Stingrays
Confessions: The Private School Murders
Stealing Gulfstreams
Women's Murder Club [05] The 5th Horseman
Zoo 2
Jack Morgan 02 - Private London
Treasure Hunters--Quest for the City of Gold
The Christmas Mystery
Murder in Paradise
Kidnapped: BookShots (A Jon Roscoe Thriller)
Triple Homicide_Thrillers
16th Seduction: (Women’s Murder Club 16) (Women's Murder Club)
14th Deadly Sin: (Women’s Murder Club 14)
Texas Ranger
Witch & Wizard 04 - The Kiss
Women's Murder Club [03] 3rd Degree
Break Point: BookShots
Alex Cross 04 - Cat & Mouse
Maximum Ride
Fifty Fifty: (Harriet Blue 2) (Detective Harriet Blue Series)
Alex Cross 02 - Kiss the Girls
The President Is Missing
Hunted
House of Robots
Dangerous Days of Daniel X
Tick Tock mb-4
10th Anniversary wmc-10
The Exile
Private Games-Jack Morgan 4 jm-4
Burn: (Michael Bennett 7)
Laugh Out Loud
The People vs. Alex Cross: (Alex Cross 25)
Peril at the Top of the World
I Funny TV
Merry Christmas, Alex Cross ac-19
#1 Suspect jm-3
Fang: A Maximum Ride Novel
Women's Murder Club [07] 7th Heaven
The End