Laugh Out Loud Read online

  “Hi! My name is Maddie and Jimmy’s books are the best.”

  The lady across the table took off her glasses. Squinted at the screen.

  “Every time I read a book that Jimmy wrote,” Maddie continued, “I say, ‘Hey, Jimmy—please give me another book!’”

  Now the lady was staring at me.

  Hard.

  Chapter 54

  Surprise, Surprise

  “You’re that Jimmy?” asked the lady, tilting her head sort of sideways, I guess so she could gawk at me better.

  “Um, yes, ma’am,” I said. “Maddie’s my next-door neighbor. She doesn’t get out much on account of—”

  “I know all about Maddie,” said the lady, smiling at me warmly. “She’s my niece. My favorite niece. You’re the boy who brings her books from the library and gives her the ones you make up yourself?”

  I nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

  She turned to the other adults on her side of the table. “You guys? We need to bump this upstairs. Immediately. I have never seen Maddie happier than when she’s reading one of Jimmy’s books.”

  One of the guys at the table started fiddling with a calendar app on his tablet computer.

  “The Ys have a fifteen-minute gap in their schedule. We could sandwich Jimmy in between their private speedboat lessons and their bull-riding event at the company rodeo this afternoon.”

  “That’s today?” said another one of the execs, snapping his fingers. “I forgot to pack my chaps.”

  “Never mind,” said Maddie’s aunt. “Come on, Jimmy, we’re going upstairs to the bird’s nest.”

  “Huh?”

  “That’s what Mr. and Mrs. Yingerlinger call their office.”

  “Right now?”

  “Yes. Unless, for some reason, you want to keep on waiting for your dream to come true?”

  “No, ma’am! Come on, guys!”

  Maddie’s aunt held up her hand. “Your friends can’t come with you, Jimmy.”

  “Huh?”

  “This is your dream, correct?”

  “Yes, but these guys all helped me so much…”

  “Sorry. Mr. and Mrs. Yingerlinger only wish to directly interface with primary dreamers.”

  I turned to face my friends.

  “Go for it,” said Hailey.

  “Do it, dude!” said Kenny.

  “It seems to be the wise and prudent move,” added Pierce.

  And then everybody started chanting again, only this time it was louder than a murmur.

  “Jim-my, Jim-my, Jim-my!”

  “Okay,” I said to Maddie’s aunt. “Take me up to the bird’s nest!”

  “Good luck, Jimmy!” shouted Maxine.

  I grabbed the blueprints and my idea folder and headed for the door with Maddie’s aunt.

  “Don’t forget to tell them about the bowling alley!” shouted Chris. “And the free nachos at the snack bar.”

  “Huh?” said a confused Kenny.

  “Dude, who wants to go bowling if there aren’t any nachos at the snack bar?”

  That made me smile.

  Well, as much as anything could make me smile with five thousand butterflies dancing the nae nae in my stomach.

  Chapter 55

  Y Not?

  I entered an office filled with blindingly bright light because the fifteen-foot walls and ceiling were made entirely out of glass.

  Even the window frames were made out of glass. The office was perched on top of the building’s roof. It felt like an air-conditioned hothouse for flowers. I noticed several wacky sculptures of birds—like the guy on Sesame Street, only goofier.

  “Welcome to the bird’s nest,” whispered Maddie’s aunt. “Please remove your shoes.”

  I did.

  “This is where I have to say good-bye,” whispered Maddie’s aunt.

  “What?”

  “It’s your idea, Jimmy. You have to sell them on it—all by yourself.”

  She left. I gulped. Then I padded across the thick carpet in my stocking feet.

  Mr. and Mrs. Yingerlinger, the bazillionaires, weren’t sitting behind a big important desk. They were sprawled out in a pile of beanbag chairs slurping Lucky Charms out of cereal bowls with Muppet faces painted on the sides. They were both extremely young. Well, younger than my parents, anyway. And neither one was wearing a business suit. In fact, they were both wearing pajamas.

  “What is it?” asked Mr. Yingerlinger.

  “Who are you?” asked Mrs. Yingerlinger.

  “Um, my name is, uh, Jimmy. And I just pitched an idea to your employees in the room where people go if, you know, they have ideas.”

  “And they sent you up here, straightaway?” said Mr. Yingerlinger, standing up and plucking a few stray marshmallow moons off his pj’s. “Oooh. This must be a fantastic idea, Jimmy!”

  “We love those the most,” said Mrs. Y, climbing out of the beanbag heap.

  “But you know,” said Mr. Y, “we’re not just interested in fantastic ideas.”

  “Oh, no,” said Mrs. Y. “We’re just as interested in the fascinating people behind the fantastic ideas!”

  “Fascinating people who can become fantastic partners,” added Mr. Y.

  “So, tell us, Jimmy,” said Mrs. Y. “Do you believe in your idea? Really, truly believe in it?”

  “Or,” said Mr. Y, “is this just a get-rich-quick scheme? An app that makes your phone burp or fart or a game involving exploding fruit?”

  “No, sir,” I said, pulling out Rafe’s latest design for the book company. “It’s not a scheme to make me rich. In fact, I’m really not all that interested in making money.”

  “Really?” said Mrs. Y skeptically.

  “No, ma’am. I want to make books that make kids want to read more books. See, I love reading. Every time I finish a good book I want to find another one just as good. I want to do that for other kids. Whenever a kid finishes a book from the Laugh Out Loud Book Company, I want them to say, ‘Wow! Give me another one!’ But I’m a kid…”

  “We noticed that,” said Mrs. Y.

  “I don’t have the money to make my dream come true. I need your help. Can you guys be my financial angels? I think that’s the term for it. My friend Hailey taught it to me.”

  Mr. and Mrs. Y looked at each other. Nodded.

  “Why not!” they both said.

  “Okay,” I said. “Well, thanks for your time. I’ll leave now…”

  “Whoa,” said Mrs. Y. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “We’re saying yes, Jimmy!” said Mr. Y.

  I vaguely remember my heart stopped beating.

  “You’re really going to give me the money?” I asked.

  “We sure are!” said Mr. Y. “Why not?”

  “We’re all in!” added his wife. “We love the idea of a book company for kids that’s started by a kid and run by kids. It’s outrageous. It’s bold. It’s a moon shot! There’s nothing else like it.”

  “We love your company, Jimmy,” said Mr. Y. “We love books! We love you! We love JIMMY Books.”

  Just then all my friends came crashing into the bird’s nest cheering and chanting, “Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!”

  “But, um, the name of the company is Laugh Out Loud,” I shouted over all the noise.

  “Nah,” said Mr. Y. “Having fun reading is too important. We need to name the company after you, Jimmy.”

  I smiled at the Ys as my friends hugged each other and patted me on the back. My grin was so wide it hurt my face. We did it!

  And that’s how it all got started.

  That’s how the book company got its name, too.

  My investors insisted. It was what they called a deal-breaker.

  My name had to be on the cover of every book we published so I’d never, ever forget the promise I was personally making to each and every one of my readers: Read this book and I guarantee you’ll like it so much you’ll want to read another one!

  Chapter 56

  Back to School

/>   The next day, I headed back to school, walking on air.

  My dream was going to come true. The Yingerlingers would construct my amazingly fantastical idea for a book company on their property up in Marin County! Mom, Dad, Quixote, and I would be moving up there. My ’rents would have grown-up jobs in accounting and the legal department (none of my friends wanted those—not even Pierce). Most of my buds would be moving to Marin County because I needed them to help me at JIMMY Books.

  The Yingerlingers were going to build us a brand-new school on their property, too—because we had to keep learning stuff so we could keep coming up with new ideas for books.

  My head was swimming with new ideas that could become books floating along on our lazy river and water slide assembly lines.

  Unfortunately, my head should’ve been swimming with ideas for an extemporaneous speech. Because the second the bell rang, Mrs. Delvecchio once again declared, “All right, class, kindly put your books away. I’m waiting. Still waiting. Good. Today, we are going to, once more, continue our exploration of English and the power of words with another five-minute extemporaneous speech.”

  Then she turned to me.

  “James?”

  Uh-oh. Big trouble.

  “Remember the last time I called on you?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Well, this is it. Your final chance to avoid an F in English.”

  I stood up.

  “You have five minutes, James. Go!”

  I blasted off like a rocket!

  “Guys, today I’d like to talk to you about my dream. I am going to start a book company for kids that’s run by kids who know exactly what other kids want to read! We’re going to make reading fun for kids because the more something is fun, the more of it gets done! It will be the most incredible book company in the entire world. Our books will take kids on exciting adventures! We’ll open their eyes to whole new worlds and new ways of looking at things! My book company will have a river flowing through it—a river filled with floating books. We’ll have a Ferris wheel instead of a freight elevator, too! Why? Because Ferris wheels are more fun! And all the employees will ride hoverboards. Real hoverboards. The kind without any wheels! They’ll just float above the floor, the way a good book makes us float above the humdrum world!”

  Yep, I gave a very rousing five-minute speech.

  The exact same rousing speech I’d given the first time.

  Which made Mrs. Delvecchio furious.

  “As I told you the last time you related your ludicrous dream, James, in my classroom, an extemporaneous talk must be based on facts. It cannot be fiction.”

  “It’s not fiction, Mrs. Delvecchio,” I announced. “It’s real. Yingerlinger Enterprises, the billionaire investors, are helping me launch JIMMY Books!”

  I showed her the headline in the Wall Street Journal, a business newspaper that’s big with grown-ups.

  The kids in the class went absolutely nuts.

  Mrs. Delvecchio’s jaw dropped—to the floor. Literally. Don’t worry, the janitor cleaned it up.

  Kidding.

  (Or maybe I just came up with a new idea for another book!)

  Chapter 57

  Welcome to JIMMY Books!

  So JIMMY Books officially opened six months after my first meeting with Mr. and Mrs. Y.

  The factory is super-incredibly amazing. I think it cost like several kazillion dollars to build, but like the Yingerlingers always say, “most moon shots do.” Hey, when you reach for the stars, if you fail, at least you land on a cloud.

  Mostly kids work at JIMMY. In the idea department, the art department, the writing arena, the editing den, the proofreading porch—all over the place.

  We have a couple of adults (Mom, Dad, and Maddie’s aunt Amy) doing the stuff grown-ups do better than kids. You know—taxes, contracts, unclogging any clogged sinks or toilets.

  Sure, we still go to school, but we have some amazing textbooks!

  So guess what? That big dream I had? It came true!

  Hey, maybe yours can, too! Just never, ever, ever give up!

  Chapter 58

  The Best Part of My Dream?

  People often ask me, “Hey, Jimmy, what’s the best part about running your own book company?”

  Easy. The books! The stories. So many stories!

  And so many more to come. (You’ve seen my idea folder. That thing is humongous!)

  Middle School (which, wow, was turned into a movie!), I Funny, House of Robots, Treasure Hunters, Jacky Ha-Ha, Word of Mouse, Pottymouth and Stoopid, Public School Superhero… even this one: Laugh Out Loud.

  When you see my name on the cover, I guarantee it’ll be a fun read or my name isn’t Jimmy!

  Epilogue

  Jimmy’s Who’s Who List

  So I guess by now you’ve probably figured out that some of the characters in this book went on to become characters in other JIMMY books.

  Writing teachers always say, “Write what you know.” Well, I expanded that a little to “write WHO you know, too!”

  • Madison, my next-door neighbor, became Maddie in House of Robots. Her little brother, Sammy, came with her!

  • Chris Grabbetts became one of my favorite coauthors. The guy’s so prolific, these days he writes under TWO different pen names!

  • Raphael (Rafe) Katchadopoulos turned into Rafe Khatachadorian in our Middle School series.

  • Maxine Peterman is another one of my top coauthors and the reason I called the main character in Maximum Ride Max!

  • My dad, the illustrator, became Maddie and Sam’s father in House of Robots.

  • My mom’s band inspired the Pretty Awful rock band in House of Robots.

  • Mr. Quackenberry turned into all the dream-crushers in all my books.

  • My brainiac buddy Pierce morphed into Jamie Grimm’s brainiac buddy Pierce in the I Funny books.

  • Hailey, the girl with mice in her garage, became Hailey in Word of Mouse. The blue mouse she saw in her garage came along, too!

  • Kenny Wilson became Kenny, the hero of Public School Superhero.

  • My imaginary aliens inspired me to create Daniel X, the alien hunter.

  • The gutsy guy in the wheelchair led me to Jamie Grimm and the I Funny books.

  • Don’t tell her, but Mrs. Delvecchio became the Dragon Lady in Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life.

  • Bickering twins Bob and Abby Kipplemeyer inspired Bick and Beck Kidd in the Treasure Hunters series.

  • Yep, Tailspin Tommy Kipplemeyer turned into Tailspin Tommy Kidd, too!

  • Ms. Muenk, the English teacher, inspired the character Ms. O’Mara in Jacky Ha-Ha.

  • The robotic bankers really did give me the idea for House of Robots!

  • Money Man, my imaginary superhero, grew into Stainlezz Steel in Public School Superhero.

  • Mr. and Mrs. Yingerlinger? They became themselves in this book! Hey, why not?

  James Patterson received the Literarian Award for Outstanding Service to the American Literary Community at the 2015 National Book Awards. He holds the Guinness World Record for the most #1 New York Times bestsellers, including Middle School, Jacky Ha-Ha, and I Funny, and his books have sold more than 350 million copies worldwide. A tireless champion of the power of books and reading, Patterson created a children’s book imprint, JIMMY Patterson, whose mission is simple: “We want every kid who finishes a JIMMY Book to say, ‘PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER BOOK.’” He has donated more than one million books to students and soldiers and funds over four hundred Teacher Education Scholarships at twenty-four colleges and universities. He has also donated millions to independent bookstores and school libraries. Patterson invests proceeds from the sales of JIMMY Patterson Books in pro-reading initiatives.

  Chris Grabenstein is a New York Times bestselling author who has collaborated with James Patterson on the I Funny, Treasure Hunters, and House of Robots series, as well as Jacky Ha-Ha, Word of Mouse, Pottymouth and Stoopid, and Daniel X: Armaged
don. He lives in New York City.

  Jeff Ebbeler has illustrated many picture books and even written a few. He has also worked as an art director and a paper engineer for pop-up books, created murals for schools and churches, sculpted puppets, and performed for several marionette theaters. Ebbeler gives many lectures and demonstrations in grade schools, colleges, and museums about the process of bringing words to life through pictures. He and his wife, Eileen, both attended the Art Academy of Cincinnati. They live in Cincinnati with their twin daughters, Olivia and Isabel.

  JIMMY PATTERSON BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS

  James Patterson Presents

  Sci-Fi Junior High by John Martin and Scott Seegert

  How to Be a Supervillain by Michael Fry

  The Middle School Series by James Patterson

  Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life

  Middle School: Get Me Out of Here!

  Middle School: Big Fat Liar

  Middle School: How I Survived Bullies, Broccoli, and Snake Hill

  Middle School: Ultimate Showdown

  Middle School: Save Rafe!

  Middle School: Just My Rotten Luck

  Middle School: Dog’s Best Friend

  Middle School: Escape to Australia

  The I Funny Series by James Patterson

  I Funny

  I Even Funnier

  I Totally Funniest

  I Funny TV

  I Funny: School of Laughs

  The Treasure Hunters Series by James Patterson

  Treasure Hunters

  Treasure Hunters: Danger Down the Nile

  Treasure Hunters: Secret of the Forbidden City

  Treasure Hunters: Peril at the Top of the World