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I Funny: A Middle School Story Page 11


  CHAPTER 58: RAFE KHATCHADORIAN IS A BIG FAT IDIOT

  CHAPTER 59

  CHAPTER 60: STALLING FOR TIME

  CHAPTER 61: JEANNE GALLETTA IS IN TROUBLE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE

  CHAPTER 62: GAME OVER

  CHAPTER 63: SOMETHING ELSE

  CHAPTER 64: THOU SHALT (NOT) VANDALIZE

  CHAPTER 65: TWO MINUTES LATER…

  CHAPTER 66: TIME OUT (AGAIN)

  CHAPTER 67: HOUSE ARREST

  CHAPTER 68: THE VERY WORST PART

  CHAPTER 69: THE FAMOUS POLICE CAR INCIDENT

  CHAPTER 70: MOM

  CHAPTER 71: IT HAD TO HAPPEN SOMETIME

  CHAPTER 72: THE BIG E

  CHAPTER 73: MOM ISN’T FINISHED

  CHAPTER 74: AN EXPLANATION

  CHAPTER 75: THE BIG CATCH

  CHAPTER 76: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

  ABOUT THE AUTHORS

  COPYRIGHT

  Copyright

  Copyright © 2011 by James Patterson

  Jacket © 2011 Hachette Book Group, Inc.

  Illustrations by Laura Park

  Jacket design by Alison Impey • Jacket art by Laura Park

  All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  Little, Brown and Company

  Hachette Book Group

  237 Park Avenue

  New York, NY 10017

  Visit our website at www.HachetteBookGroup.com.

  www.twitter.com/littlebrown.

  Little, Brown and Company is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

  The Little, Brown name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

  First eBook Edition: June 2011

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. In the event a real name is used, it is used fictitiously.

  The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

  ISBN: 978-0-316-13470-5

  Table of Contents

  FRONT COVER IMAGE

  WELCOME

  DEDICATION

  CHAPTER 1: I’M RAFE KHATCHADORIAN, TRAGIC HERO

  CHAPTER 2: THE MIDDLE SCHOOL/MAX SECURITY PRISON

  CHAPTER 3: AT LEAST I’VE GOT LEO

  CHAPTER 4: RAH, RAH, RAH, YADA, YADA, YADA…

  CHAPTER 5: THOSE OH-SO-CRUEL RULES

  CHAPTER 6: EUREKA!

  CHAPTER 7: CHAOS

  CHAPTER 8: MY HOME PAGE

  CHAPTER 9: CHECK THIS OUT

  CHAPTER 10: CHECK THIS OUT, PART II

  CHAPTER 11: GEORGIA ON MY NERVES

  CHAPTER 12: SO THIS IS WHAT MOTIVATION FEELS LIKE!

  CHAPTER 13: OFF AND RUNNING

  CHAPTER 14: RULES WERE MADE FOR BREAKING

  CHAPTER 15: WRITE AND WRONG

  CHAPTER 16: THIN ICE IS BETTER THAN NO ICE AT ALL

  CHAPTER 17: NEW RULE

  CHAPTER 18: TEACHERS WANT TO BREAK ME, BUT I DON’T BREAK

  CHAPTER 19: APPLE PIE AND CINNAMON

  CHAPTER 20: MILLER THE KILLER RUINS DETENTION DAY

  CHAPTER 21: MORE BAD NEWS

  CHAPTER 22: AND TO TOP IT OFF…

  CHAPTER 23: WHAT’S THE POINT, ANYWAY?

  CHAPTER 24: I’LL TAKE THE DRAGON LADY OVER THE BEAR ANY DAY

  CHAPTER 25: TIME OUT…

  CHAPTER 26: REVENGE FOR SALE

  CHAPTER 27: CRACKING THE DRESS CODE

  CHAPTER 28: KICKIN’ IT, DUNGEON-STYLE

  CHAPTER 29: HIS MAJESTY, THE LIZARD KING

  CHAPTER 30: WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?

  CHAPTER 31: DINNER FOR THREE AT SWIFTY’S DINER

  CHAPTER 32: SCUM

  CHAPTER 33: HOW HARD COULD IT BE?

  CHAPTER 34: NORMAL

  CHAPTER 35: MILLER STRIKES AGAIN

  CHAPTER 36: WHAT NOW?

  CHAPTER 37: BUSTED!

  CHAPTER 38: THE DARK AGES

  CHAPTER 39: JEANNE, JEANNE, JEANNE

  CHAPTER 40: CHARITY CASE

  CHAPTER 41: REPORT CARD TIME—ALL A’S—YAY!

  CHAPTER 42: HO, HO, HO

  CHAPTER 43: SHORT AND SWEET, BUT MOSTLY JUST SHORT

  CHAPTER 44: LOST AND FOUND

  CHAPTER 45: FIRST-DAY-BACK BLUES

  CHAPTER 46: DOING TIME WITH SERGEANT STRICKER

  CHAPTER 47: DOWN THE DRAIN

  CHAPTER 48: YOU TELL ME

  CHAPTER 49: COPYCAT

  CHAPTER 50: IT WAS WORTH A SHOT, ANYWAY

  CHAPTER 51: TWO TO TUTOR

  CHAPTER 52: PLAY-BY-PLAY

  CHAPTER 53: TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS

  CHAPTER 54: SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT

  CHAPTER 55: IS IT STILL BULLYING IF YOU’RE BULLYING THE BULLY?

  CHAPTER 56: TEN PAGES AND A LIE

  CHAPTER 57: INTO THE HOMESTRETCH

  CHAPTER 58: RAFE KHATCHADORIAN IS A BIG FAT IDIOT

  CHAPTER 59

  CHAPTER 60: STALLING FOR TIME

  CHAPTER 61: JEANNE GALLETTA IS IN TROUBLE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE

  CHAPTER 62: GAME OVER

  CHAPTER 63: SOMETHING ELSE

  CHAPTER 64: THOU SHALT (NOT) VANDALIZE

  CHAPTER 65: TWO MINUTES LATER…

  CHAPTER 66: TIME OUT (AGAIN)

  CHAPTER 67: HOUSE ARREST

  CHAPTER 68: THE VERY WORST PART

  CHAPTER 69: THE FAMOUS POLICE CAR INCIDENT

  CHAPTER 70: MOM

  CHAPTER 71: IT HAD TO HAPPEN SOMETIME

  CHAPTER 72: THE BIG E

  CHAPTER 73: MOM ISN’T FINISHED

  CHAPTER 74: AN EXPLANATION

  CHAPTER 75: THE BIG CATCH

  CHAPTER 76: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

  ABOUT THE AUTHORS

  COPYRIGHT